Beyond Average: a college student's story UPDATED

Carolyn Peyton was living at home with her parents, John and Trish. Her grandma was visiting for the weekend and her older sister, Erin came by the house to spend some quality family time together. Laughter, bonding, and reminiscing in the dining room was wrapping up. It was about 9 o’clock and Trish was ready to go to bed.
 

However, Carolyn’s mom has a slightly different bedtime routine than assumed.

Unlike Carolyn’s average routine of walking upstairs to throw on some PJ’s and hitting the bathroom to brush her teeth—Trish has to be lifted from her wheel chair, into a stair lift.

But this night was slightly different. John hoisted Trish into her stair lift and Trish had a body spasm that threw her from her chair, forcing her head into the wall.

Carolyn ran over to the stairs to help.

It is the moment Carolyn thought, “This is how it’s going to be. We’re just going to have to manage and we’re going to have to deal with it. It was like, WHOA. This is actually happening.”

Carolyn’s a senior at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee, living in an eastside apartment just four blocks off campus. She’s originally from Hartland, which is only 25 miles west. She works as a host at Bar Louie, usually three days a week.

But when she walks people to their tables, or pulls all-nighters in the library, one would never guess that her mom suffers from Multiple Sclerosis.

MS is an autoimmune disease that affects the central nervous system—the brain and the spinal cord. It affects women more than men and is commonly diagnosed between the ages of 20 and 40.

Before Carolyn was born, Trish was already diagnosed with MS, and as Trish grew into her disease, so did Carolyn.

“I started realizing it was getting bad when I was in 5th grade. She had to quit her job because she couldn’t stand without leaning against something.”

Trish used to be the playground lady at Carolyn’s grade school, Hartland North. A boy got hurt in the soccer field one day and Trish couldn’t walk over to help him. Carolyn says, “That’s the day she put her two weeks in.”

All of Carolyn’s close friends at Hartland North knew about her mom’s disease. She adds that, “She was everyone’s favorite playground lady.”

By the time Carolyn finished grade school, everyone’s favorite playground lady was no longer driving Carolyn to school. Trish’s legs were slowly getting weaker and it was too hard to use the pedals.

“Before that, I use to make my mom drive me and all my friends to the 8th grade dances because we had a beamer and I use to think we were so cool pulling up in it.” Carolyn smirks and can’t help but to giggle.

She got use to her mom not driving.

Carolyn got use to a lot of things real quick.

Like a lot of mother-daughter connections, Carolyn resembles a lot of her mom. They share the same sense of humor; have the same dirty blonde hair and short stature, but there are adaptations both Carolyn and Trish need to make.

“It is so easy for someone to take advantage,” she says. “It’s like saying, oh yeah; I’m going to the mall with my mom. Well, I’d have to lift my mom from her wheelchair into the car, pack the wheelchair and get her out.”  

Trish wasn’t confined to a wheel chair until Carolyn’s senior year of high school and although there were a handful of adjustments to be made, Carolyn saw her mom to be a lot stronger; until the MS progressed.

“I went off to college.” Carolyn lived in the Sandburg Hall dorms. She didn’t come home often because she didn’t have a car. “Mostly just on holidays.” She says.

She found it rigorous to be away. Her busy schedule and her grit to party and make new friends left her father to be her mom’s primary caretaker.

“I promised through sickness and in health, and this is her sickness.” John tells her.

“He says he is fine, but he can’t be.” She says as she shakes her head.

Trish is getting weaker and continues to not be able to do as much. The MS spreading is affecting things more and Trish needs extra care during the day.

Carolyn’s life continues to adapt with her mom. Last summer, she moved home to help—help lift her mom on and off of the toilet, help get her mom something to drink and help her mom get the 42 pills a day that she needs.

But when it comes to setting the table for dinner, Trish insists. “It would take me less than 5 minutes and it takes my mom 15. I still let her do it.”

She knows she is not the average college student.

Carolyn is living back in Milwaukee for now, to finish her last year at UWM. She studies strategic communications and is constantly incorporating her mom’s disease into her studies; creating advertisements that support the fight against MS.

“It’s hard because I lived at home this past summer and saw the MS happen every day.” She says.

She goes home every other weekend. She describes her life as “REAL.” And whether it is on campus, at work, or back home, this college student carries reality with her every day.

wonder, awe, and appreciation-

Carrie